The Best Local Commercials

We’ve all seen those horrible late night local commercials that leave you feeling sorry for the poor bastards who are in them. Here are two commercials that have that special something that actually make them awesome.

I wish all commercials were like this first one. I can’t imagine this would be on TV for real, so I’m assuming it’s a spoof. They will sell you a car and fuck your wife.
Fuck You Baltimore!


This one was actually shown on local TV in Rockingham County, NC. I think I’d vote for this guy just because if he won, I’d be expecting the teaching curriculum to be slightly altered. Kids would be taking classes on Lego construction and be forced to pledge allegiance to the Jedi Council.
Christopher Knight for School Board

Confessions

Several years ago, some co-workers and myself had run across a “confession” site (grouphug.us), where anyone could anonymously confess to anything.

There were some pretty funny confessions there, some real, some fake. Here are a few of the more entertaining posts:

I have a large penis and I think I have stretched my girfriends pussy permanently as it now doesn’t touch the sides, I might as well stick it in a clowns pocket or a wizards sleeve.

Im really fat. I weigh 489 pounds and I keep skittles in my bellybutton. I keep them there so when I go up the stairs I can eat a few for energy. And I also throw some up to the top of the stairs for motivation to get there.

Sports Jersey Flukes

Sometimes things just work out too perfectly and in order to bring balance back to the universe, God has to kill a family of penguins or two. I believe the majority of these photos happen to be a wonderful coincidence. However, one of the photos you know was planned by a couple of attention getting whores. Oddly enough, they’re missing the “tramp stamp”… sorry, back on topic.

Check out these masterpieces of twist of fate, or as Bob Ross would call them, “happy accidents”.

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