Beware: Schuncks Sucks Balls

The Schnucks store located at 577 Mid Rivers Mall Drive in Saint Peters, MO 63376 is the worst grocery store I have ever been to. It didn’t used to be, but in the last year or so it has just gotten worse and worse – to the point that we now drive out of our way to go to another grocery store. Here is a list of just some of the things that make this store the worst we have ever seen.

  • On several different occasions we purchased food only to find out some of the items have long since expired. We almost fed that unsafe food to our kid, thanks to this stores grocery manager not doing their job. And when we went to return the expire items, an employee happened to be walking by and asked “oh, is that expired too?” That means this store clearly knows they have been selling expired food and have done nothing to correct it.
  • On several different occasions the store was completely out of items such as: mustard, various frozen foods, and other items. All of these items were standard items, none of them would be considered specialty. Who runs out of mustard? Schnucks, that’s who!
  • We needed the help of customer service to exchange a propane tank. Nobody had keys to the cages. They called an employee at home to see if they had the keys and got no answer. We waited for no less than 10 minutes before they found a key.
  • On another separate occasion we needed the help of customer service to bring a key to get in the pathetic excuse they call a liquor cabinet. The employee at the customer service counter said they would meet us there in just 1 minute. Again, after no less than 10 minutes and us watching the customer service employee just standing behind the counter doing absolutely nothing, we left our groceries right there in the isle and left.

Fuck that shithole of a grocery store. I’ve been to flea markets that were better organized.


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Food Gone Wrong

We’re not talking about “preference” here, or even just “what’s available.” We’re talking about food items that should never have been invented. We’re not even talking about chilled monkey brains, hogs feet, gizzards, squid, or even eyeballs.

Nope, we’re talking about food combinations or packaging that just shouldn’t be. And there is plenty of examples that should make you cringe or maybe even make you swear off certain food just because it’s offered in a particular way. Unless of course your diet has been dirt and twigs, or maybe the occasional fly since you were born. For example:

Canned Bread
Of course everyone loves some type of bread product, but do we really love it so much we’ll eat it out of a can? What’s interesting is it clearly looks like it’s for the military and it’s made by the same people that make spray paints and RC cars.
Bread in a can
[via: response.jp]

Canned Steak & Kidney Pie
Seriously, who in the fuck invented this? Why? This should be on Fear Factor. Steak is awesome, canned steak, I can’t say – never had it. But canned steak & kidney pie? Now you’re just being ridiculous. And no, that’s not a picture of me.
Canned Steak and Kidney Pie
[via: Flickr]

Canned Silk Worm Pupae
Fucking BBQ flavored. Christ on a crutch. This food is for lost civilizations and tribes that haven’t ever been in contact with the modern world. And some bastard decided to flavor and can the shit? I’m pretty sure I’ve just seen everything.
BBQ Silk Worm Pupae
[via: Toyrential-Reign]

Packaged Jellied Eel
Son of a bitch, I’m still almost heaving from the BBQ’ed Pupae. Leave it to an Asian culture to gross your Western World ass out. They’ll do it every time, but they’ll also pixelate porn – go figure. Anyway, eating eel is fucked up – but then jelly and package the shit like eel Jello packs and… oh god, I’m gonna puke.
Jellied Eel
[via: Wikipedia]

Canned Creamed Corn
Who the hell thought it was a good idea to make corn soup? I don’t understand why you’d want to eat something that looks similar and was the consistency of vomit. After the posts above, I think I horked up some creamed corn.
Creamed Corn
[via: Del Monte]

Okay, the creamed corn was kind of a joke. But not really. That stuff is nasty baby.