Month: November 2006

Marine Corps Rules for Gun Fighting

In honor of the recent Marine Corps Birthday, the Marine Corps Rules for Gun Fighting.

  1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
  2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
  3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
  4. If your shooting stance is good, you’re probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
  5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
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An open letter from the worst rated player in Madden 2007 to John Madden

This is one of the funniest sports stories I’ve ever read. Enjoy.

Ethan Albright Strikes Back

Ethan AlbrightTo: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

Continue reading An open letter from the worst rated player in Madden 2007 to John Madden