Author: Scott

Happy McValentine’s Day

Click to view biggie sizeAwww yea! I had me some McDonalds and just in time for Valentine’s Day, I got a heart shaped McNugget. Actually, I got this last year (Feb. 2006), but it’s probably still good right?

You know if I had an ebay account, this baby would be up there fetching a nice chunk of change from some whacky Valentine’s Day fanatic.

I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. Mostly because I was affraid I’d bite into it and it would actually be a chicken’s heart or something. I mean, we’ve all bitten into some fast food and found something with the completely wrong consistency being ground up in our mouths. That kind of stuff will make you re-think your diet.

I could save it and give it to my wife for Valentine’s Day, but instead I chose the “Message in a bottle” routine where I packaged it back up and tossed it in the trash. My theory is, just like a note shoved in a bottle at sea, my trash will find it’s way into some poor, hungry, homeless persons hands where they can take delight in the treasure they have just found. The choice is theirs, do they eat it or do they try to trade it for crack?

Confessions

Several years ago, some co-workers and myself had run across a “confession” site (grouphug.us), where anyone could anonymously confess to anything.

There were some pretty funny confessions there, some real, some fake. Here are a few of the more entertaining posts:

I have a large penis and I think I have stretched my girfriends pussy permanently as it now doesn’t touch the sides, I might as well stick it in a clowns pocket or a wizards sleeve.

Im really fat. I weigh 489 pounds and I keep skittles in my bellybutton. I keep them there so when I go up the stairs I can eat a few for energy. And I also throw some up to the top of the stairs for motivation to get there.

Sports Jersey Flukes

Sometimes things just work out too perfectly and in order to bring balance back to the universe, God has to kill a family of penguins or two. I believe the majority of these photos happen to be a wonderful coincidence. However, one of the photos you know was planned by a couple of attention getting whores. Oddly enough, they’re missing the “tramp stamp”… sorry, back on topic.

Check out these masterpieces of twist of fate, or as Bob Ross would call them, “happy accidents”.

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