Worst Ice Cream Flavors Ever

Garlic Ice CreamSeveral weeks ago while eating lunch, someone had mentioned garlic ice cream. Of course everyone cringed, then I mentioned popcorn ice cream. Both of these flavors of ice cream do actually exist – believe it or not. So that got me thinking of some of the worst ice cream flavors.

The other day, my wife ordered a veggie sandwich for lunch and was mistakenly given another persons order. It wasn’t until she got back to work that she found she had a sandwich filled with steak and onions, pretty much the exact opposite of what she wanted.

As I listened to her be pissed at her sandwich, I started teasing her about onions – and that’s when it came to me… onion ice cream! Oh man, that makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. Before I started to make a list of the most horrific ice cream flavors, I decided to see if someone had beat me to it. And thanks to the Internet, they in fact did.

I present to you, 101 Frightening Ice Cream Flavors From Around The World.

Diet of the Future: Tainted Foods

mr_yuck.bmpGood news for everyone who go on diets. Pretty soon no food will be edible.

In this day and age, you would think that foods would be getting safer for consumption. Instead, we hear of more and more food recalls than I can remember ever being in the past.

That’s what happens when companies use third world countries for cheap goods and services. Government agencies don’t monitor everything, it’s only after there’s a problem when they come in to play.

And here you thought you just had to worry about “trans fats”.

Feds: Millions have eaten chickens fed tainted pet food
[via CNN]

China admits tainted food link
[via USA Today]

Peanut Butter May be Contaminated With Salmonella
[via FDA]

Lettuce suspected in Taco Bell E. Coli
[via The Associated Press]

2007 pet food crisis
[via Wikipedia]

Tainted Chinese Imports Common
[via washingtonpost.com]

Breeding M&M Candies

This is pretty funny and exactly the thing that will get you free stuff from some companies.

M&M DuelsWhenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.
Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A.

Along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. “There can be only one.”

I have no clue who wrote the above, so I’ll link back to where it was found.

Happy McValentine’s Day

Click to view biggie sizeAwww yea! I had me some McDonalds and just in time for Valentine’s Day, I got a heart shaped McNugget. Actually, I got this last year (Feb. 2006), but it’s probably still good right?

You know if I had an ebay account, this baby would be up there fetching a nice chunk of change from some whacky Valentine’s Day fanatic.

I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. Mostly because I was affraid I’d bite into it and it would actually be a chicken’s heart or something. I mean, we’ve all bitten into some fast food and found something with the completely wrong consistency being ground up in our mouths. That kind of stuff will make you re-think your diet.

I could save it and give it to my wife for Valentine’s Day, but instead I chose the “Message in a bottle” routine where I packaged it back up and tossed it in the trash. My theory is, just like a note shoved in a bottle at sea, my trash will find it’s way into some poor, hungry, homeless persons hands where they can take delight in the treasure they have just found. The choice is theirs, do they eat it or do they try to trade it for crack?