World’s Longest Nipple Hair

World's Longest Nipple Hair? I Think Not!So this 20-year-old University of Western Ontario engineering student made it into the 2006 Guinness Book of Records for… wait for it… the world’s longest nipple hair at 3.5 inches long.

I remembered reading about this several months ago. It was one of those links that tend to circulate because of it’s obscurity and because it made it into the Guinness Book of Records.

I’ve had a freakishly long errant nipple hair before myself. I had to show my wife because it was that long. Kinda like how you might have that one friend that takes a massive dump and just has to tell everyone about it, maybe even supply photographic evidence. Except my astounding feat of mutation wasn’t a turd the size of a skinny chicks arm, that’s just nasty.

Now I’m wishing I had taken a picture of it. I haven’t had one since, and I could possibly destroy this guys dreams of being some inconsequential statistic in a book that quickly lost it’s interesting appeal when they started adding records for things like the world’s longest nipple hair. Sure, I’d be the Dudley ‘Booger’ Dawson instead of this guy – but I think that’s a small price to pay to crush the dreams and aspirations of others.