The Best Local Commercials

We’ve all seen those horrible late night local commercials that leave you feeling sorry for the poor bastards who are in them. Here are two commercials that have that special something that actually make them awesome.

I wish all commercials were like this first one. I can’t imagine this would be on TV for real, so I’m assuming it’s a spoof. They will sell you a car and fuck your wife.
Fuck You Baltimore!

This one was actually shown on local TV in Rockingham County, NC. I think I’d vote for this guy just because if he won, I’d be expecting the teaching curriculum to be slightly altered. Kids would be taking classes on Lego construction and be forced to pledge allegiance to the Jedi Council.
Christopher Knight for School Board

Happy McValentine’s Day

Click to view biggie sizeAwww yea! I had me some McDonalds and just in time for Valentine’s Day, I got a heart shaped McNugget. Actually, I got this last year (Feb. 2006), but it’s probably still good right?

You know if I had an ebay account, this baby would be up there fetching a nice chunk of change from some whacky Valentine’s Day fanatic.

I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. Mostly because I was affraid I’d bite into it and it would actually be a chicken’s heart or something. I mean, we’ve all bitten into some fast food and found something with the completely wrong consistency being ground up in our mouths. That kind of stuff will make you re-think your diet.

I could save it and give it to my wife for Valentine’s Day, but instead I chose the “Message in a bottle” routine where I packaged it back up and tossed it in the trash. My theory is, just like a note shoved in a bottle at sea, my trash will find it’s way into some poor, hungry, homeless persons hands where they can take delight in the treasure they have just found. The choice is theirs, do they eat it or do they try to trade it for crack?